And another thing!!!!!

SWIMSUIT SHOPPING!!! This must be the most depressing event of the season. I don't have a pool, or belong to a country club, or go swimming all that much (even though I LOVE it). But I needed a new bathing suit to take to Florida.

If you read my previous post, you might understand that this is not good timing for trying on bathing suits. There are LOTS to choose from, all styles, prices, colors, etc. There are suits with little skirts to "hide" things! Well, on me it says, "Look, I got a big ole butt and cottage cheese thighs and I'm trying to cover it up". There are tankini's with skirts and tops and the skirts do the same as stated above! Then there are shorts and tops. The shorts are hip hugger, which causes a bad case of muffin top and the top is short and pops up over the muffin!!! I AM NOT KIDDING HERE!!! Then there are the ones that have the tag hanging on them that says ~ lose 10 lbs. instantly. GUESS WHAT ~ that ten lbs. that the spandex squeezes in has to go somewhere. Can you say large curd cottage cheese. hahahahahahahahahahaha

Aren't muu muus or caftans back in style?

And speaking of yesterday's post, look at the tissues I found today!!!!

Getting Old!

I've decided that when I enter the gates of Heaven, the first thing I plan on doing is meeting Jesus face to face and thanking him for all he did for me.

Then, I will hug my mom, dad, my Godmother, grandparents, and all the other people who've gone before me!

BUT THEN ~ I'm going to have a conversation with God about menopause! Good Lord, what in the world is all this about???????

Whatever place I'm in right now, pre-menopause, mid-menopause, final stages of menopause is just RIDICULOUS!!! I can go from euphoria to depression in a matter of minutes. My face and skin are doing things they did not do as a teenager. I am ginormous and can't seem to lose weight.

I have decided that having to eat my words is probably as much to blame as Panera bread, hubby's cakes, and stuff. All those years of saying "Oh, I will never do that. . . never get that way. . . mom's crazy, that won't happen." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ~ My thighs and the backs of my legs look like cottage cheese. By the way, NEVER, and I mean NEVER, look at yourself naked from behind!!! SCARY.

I can smile, talk to people, and carry on somewhat nice conversations, all the while thinking I could just slap the snot out of them. WHERE is that coming from???? I have a VERY short fuse, and get frustrated with myself and others easily. I've referred to hormones as HORRIBLEMONES for years now!

Thankfully, it is only a season and I can make fun of myself, right???? Show the grace, and southern gentility I was taught from my mother? Yea, you go right ahead and believe that!!!

But I do plan on riding this wave with as much fun as I can muster!!! Thought I would share this e-mail I sent to my office co-workers this morning:

I thought I might need to let some of you know that I will be out of the office next week April 6-10. Pray for me, as I am going to Florida with my best friend from Nashville and FIVE 18 year old senior high school girls!!!!! They're hormonal, I'm hormonal ~ should be a fun time!!!! Watch for the Girls Gone Wild version

of "Grandmas at the Beach" coming soon. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I keep teasing my friend's daughter that she will have to compete against me in the wet t-shirt contest and she will lose because they will have to aim the camera lower to see mine and then won't be able to see hers!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ain't life grand?????

BLING GIVEAWAY!!!

One of the best things about blogging is finding wonderfully creative people out there!

Pixisette Jewelry is one of them. Another great jewelry artist, Erin at Vintage Pearl is having a giveaway for Pixisette for these!!! Just visit Vintage Pearl and sign up for the giveaway.



After you enter the contest, check out Vintage Pearls handstamped jewelry at http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5135533.

A girl can NEVER have too many purties!!!!!!

BAD TV

We have Direct TV and 5 gazillion channels and they all stink! That's not Direct TV's fault of course, just TV in general. So this evening, believe it or not, hubby and I have watched a marathon of (I REALLY hate to admit this) Bridezilla! Yes, that's right ~ YIKES!!!! Most of the time with our mouths hanging open and we are laughing!!!!

THEN ~ Not to be topped, a show came on in the middle of the the marathon. Surprise Wedding! Talk about sitting with our mouths hanging open! Five women tell their boyfriends that they've won a free trip to Vegas for a supposed makeover. They actually spend the week shopping for rings and wedding dresses. Their boyfriends get to join them at the end of the week to see the "makeover". As you can figure out by the title of the show, they men come out to find their girlfriends in wedding gowns. SURPRISE ~ It's your wedding!!!! The guys get to go off stage and think about their decision. They even get a 30 second lifeline telephone call (the show was produced by the people who did Who Wants to be a Millionaire?).

All the men came out and agreed to the marriage! Can you imagine if they didn't? It would be the Bachelor Debacle all over again ~ right on National TV!!!! And walla, a Chaplain appears and marries them instantly. AMAZING is all I can say.

But really, I can't say a lot. We sat here and watched the entire two hours, watched 5 couples get married without a long engagement or stressful wedding preparations, and it was all free!!! Two couples even won a honeymoon to Hawaii. So who are the stupid ones?????

Oh but don't worry ~ romance isn't dead in our house. Hubby and I are coming up on our 23rd anniversary. Hubby just suggested that on our 25th wedding anniversary, we renew our vowels.

A E I O U ya'll!!!

The Debacle formally known as The Bachelor!

I have to admit, I watched it, even after I SWORE I would not. I've only watched one entire season ~ and that was the first one aired. Monday night a friend called and told me that the final rose ceremony was going to be the best ever and an unbelievable twist with the AFTR hour.

So we watched it together somewhat, by calling each other about every 10 minutes and saying things like, "this is sooo stupid", "I can't believe I am watching this", "Jason is a turd" (although we really like what Melissa called him better!!!), "what is ABC thinking", etc.
But did we turn the TV off??? NOOOOOOOOO, of course not.

Then last night I sat right here and watched another hour of crap about it!!!! hahahahahahahaha.

There hasn't been this much hoopla in the news since Obama was elected!!!! I don't even want to think about what that says about us. YIKES!!!!!!

Anticipation. . .

I HAZ IT!!!
Can you tell I've been looking at LOL dogs and cats? At least 12 years ago, my father-in-law planted a dilapidated, pitiful Camellia bush in the yard between our house and theirs. He just hated to dispose of it, so he stuck it in the ground and never did a thing to it. Now, it is a beautiful shaped 10 foot bush that blooms every year! I see it every morning outside my bathroom window. It is beautiful in full bloom, so I will share pics of that when it happens. Occasionally, we get a freeze that messes it up, but rarely!!!!!

Ring around the head!!!!!

Yesterday I went to get my hair colored ~ painted as I sometimes say. I've been going to the same lady for sometime and she puts the same color on everytime. I am boring, I admit. My hair is gray, began graying when I was 16 years old. A friend and I were looking at my "bad" roots this weekend and joked that I'd moved from salt and pepper to LOTS of salt!!!!!!!

My hairdresser was out of my color yesterday and mixed two colors for me. Well, apparently, my hair grabbed the "warm" one and I am now donning red roots. An inch or so of red on blondish brown DOES NOT look good, especially when I often pull my hair back!

I've attached a pic, even drew a line for you, but it does not do my ring around the head justice. Suffice it to say, I have an appointment this afternoon to fix this!!!!!!

On another note, WHAT IS UP with the pithy, ugly looking forehead. I cropped the pic to show just the hairline and also because a picture looking down on a face is scary. My next trip will be to get a facial! GEEZ, getting old is H*$^#%*LL.