Monday, March 30, 2009

Getting Old!

I've decided that when I enter the gates of Heaven, the first thing I plan on doing is meeting Jesus face to face and thanking him for all he did for me.

Then, I will hug my mom, dad, my Godmother, grandparents, and all the other people who've gone before me!

BUT THEN ~ I'm going to have a conversation with God about menopause! Good Lord, what in the world is all this about???????

Whatever place I'm in right now, pre-menopause, mid-menopause, final stages of menopause is just RIDICULOUS!!! I can go from euphoria to depression in a matter of minutes. My face and skin are doing things they did not do as a teenager. I am ginormous and can't seem to lose weight.

I have decided that having to eat my words is probably as much to blame as Panera bread, hubby's cakes, and stuff. All those years of saying "Oh, I will never do that. . . never get that way. . . mom's crazy, that won't happen." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ~ My thighs and the backs of my legs look like cottage cheese. By the way, NEVER, and I mean NEVER, look at yourself naked from behind!!! SCARY.

I can smile, talk to people, and carry on somewhat nice conversations, all the while thinking I could just slap the snot out of them. WHERE is that coming from???? I have a VERY short fuse, and get frustrated with myself and others easily. I've referred to hormones as HORRIBLEMONES for years now!

Thankfully, it is only a season and I can make fun of myself, right???? Show the grace, and southern gentility I was taught from my mother? Yea, you go right ahead and believe that!!!

But I do plan on riding this wave with as much fun as I can muster!!! Thought I would share this e-mail I sent to my office co-workers this morning:
I thought I might need to let some of you know that I will be out of the office next week April 6-10. Pray for me, as I am going to Florida with my best friend from Nashville and FIVE 18 year old senior high school girls!!!!! They're hormonal, I'm hormonal ~ should be a fun time!!!! Watch for the Girls Gone Wild version
of "Grandmas at the Beach" coming soon. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I keep teasing my friend's daughter that she will have to compete against me in the wet t-shirt contest and she will lose because they will have to aim the camera lower to see mine and then won't be able to see hers!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ain't life grand?????

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